A Boy With Dreams

SLUT

I feel like a slut.

If people knew my personal life, they’d say I was one.

The things I’ve done are not stuff I am proud of.

I’ve had sex for money.

I’ve had horribly, ridiculously unsafe sex.

I’ve had sex in public.

I’ve had sex with men old enough to my uncle, dad, or even my grandpa.

And I’ve done it all, just to feel better about myself.

And all it seems to do is make me feel worse.

I’ve had sex for money, because I want to feel like I deserve to be paid for being so beautiful.

In reality, I feel incredibly ugly.

I’ve had unsafe sex, because I didn’t want to look stupid for saying no.

I want him to love me, so I let him do what he wants.

Who cares what’ll happen to me?

I’ve had sex in public, because I want to be a rebel.

In reality, I was crying out for help. And no one listened.

I’ve had sex with men older than dirt, because they make me feel good about myself.

In reality, they’re the only men who know how to love me the right way.

They make me feel like I’m important.

I feel like a slut.

I look desperate. But no one really understands.

I NEED someone to be with me.

If not to make me feel better, then just to keep me safe.

I’m doing dangerous things.

And I can’t stop.

HELP.

I am such a slut.